Review: Hansel & Gretel Get Baked (Spoiler Alert! My Review Gives Away The Ending!)

Tonight I saw the new movie, Hansel & Gretel Get Baked, a marijuana laced adaptation of the classic children's story Hansel & Gretel. It starred Michael Welch (of Twilight) as Hansel, Molly C. Quinn as Gretel, and Lara Flynn Boyle as the witch. The movie begins with Gretel's boyfriend Ashton (played by Andrew James Allen) bringing Gretel some weed called Black Forest which he got from the local drug dealer. Ashton and Gretel smoke the weed until they run out, and Ashton decides to go find more. Ashton calls the local drug dealer who texts him the address of the supposedly sweet old lady who gave him the Black Forest weed. When Ashton visits the old lady, she turns out to be a witch and captures him and proceeds to begin to cannibalize him. The weed turns out to be a trap to lure unsuspecting teenagers to her house so she can suck the lift out of them to become young again. When Ashton doesn't return home, Gretel and Hansel go to the witch's house looking for him, but she pretends he never came to her house. So Hansel & Gretel try asking the police for help, and the police provide no help or sympathy. In the meantime, the local drug dealer, Manny gets in trouble with his prior supplier for selling someone else's weed on turf that was spoken for. The supplier holds Manny at gunpoint and tells him to pass a message to the old lady that she would have to pay to sell drugs on his turf. Manny goes to the old lady's house to pass on the message and the witch uses his cell phone to text a threatening message to Manny's former supplier. She then chops of Manny's head. The supplier tries to go to the witch's house with two armed bodyguards, and she kills the supplier and one of the body guards and chases the other one into a cage and then she locks him in. Gretel meets up with Manny's girlfriend Bianca and the two decide to pay the old lady a visit. Bianca distracts the witch while Gretel breaks into the house and searches the basement for Ashton, who by now is clearly dead. Manny then surfaces as a zombie and tries to kill Gretel and the noise is heard by the witch, but Bianca tries to stop the witch and thinks she killed her by snapping her neck. Unfortunately this doesn't kill the witch it just slows her down. The witch ends up locking Gretel and Bianca up in the cage with the drug dealer's bodyguard and then sucks the life out of the bodyguard. In the meantime, Hansel finally reads Gretel's email message that she is going to the house to talk to the old lady. Hansel goes to the house and the witch captures him too and prepares to cannibalize him. Gretel and Bianca manage to escape the cage during this time, and they hear Hansel screaming. So they run to where Hansel is ties up and just like in the fairy tale, Gretel throws the evil witch into the oven to kill her. This was a very entertaining movie with a lot of black comedy, it was certainly a unique and very modern spin on the classic children's story. This is the first time I've seen Michael Welch in a movie other than the Twilight series and his performance was excellent. Below is the trailer for the movie and a link to their facebook page.

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HanselGretelGetBaked

Review: Warm Bodies

Tonight I went to an advance screening of the new movie "Warm Bodies" which stars Nicholas Hoult and Teresa Palmer. The movie is about a future world where half the population was killed and turned into zombies. In addition to the zombies an additional portion of the population turned into animal-like "skeletons". The "skeletons" essentially used to be zombies but they are much more savage and ruthless and don't possess the capacity to speak at all. Both the zombies and the skeletons eat human brains to survive. One of the zombies, who goes by the name "R", saves Teresa Palmer's character Julie from being eaten alive by other zombies. He takes her to his home to keep her safe from the zombies and the skeletons. While she is staying with him, he realized he is falling in love with her. He tells her to wait and stay with him until it is safe for "R" to bring her back to the wall that separates the human world from the zombie world. A couple of times she tries leaving on her own but she is almost attacked by zombies. The first time, "R" finds her and tells her to pretend to be a zombie so the zombies don't attack her. The second time the zombies detect that Julie is human, but "R" shows them that he loves her by holding her hand and when the zombies see this, they back off. Rob Corddry of The Daily Show With Jon Stewart plays "R"'s best friend who at this point decides to help "R" and Julie escape some skeletons. The story gets complicated when "R" confesses to Julie that he killed her ex-boyfriend. Julie then decides to go back to the human world, and leaves "R" while he is having his first dream since becoming a zombie. "R" has all the memories of her ex-boyfriend in his brain because he ate her ex-boyfriend's brain, so he uses those memories to find his way to Julie's house in the human world. When they reunite, Julie confesses that she missed "R", and she and a friend go to tell her father, a military leader, that the zombies can change their ways and find humanity just like "R" did. In fact while "R" was finding Julie, all the zombies who had seen "R" and Julie together had begun to have a heartbeat and recover their humanity. The skeletons sense this change and don't like it, so the zombies have to prepare for a fight with the skeletons and end up enlisting the human army to help in their fight. Some of the skeletons noticed "R" and Julie and try to attack them but in the end "R" and Julie manage to escape them. At the end of the movie, the zombies are welcomed into the human world and given help in re-integrating with society. I loved this movie, and recommend it highly. It was funny, romantic, and there was also a healthy dose of action. Below is the trailer for Warm Bodies.



The official website for the movie is:
http://www.warmbodiesmovie.com/

Nicholas Hoult also has another upcoming movie "Jack The Giant Slayer" which is a new spin on the classic tale of Jack And The Beanstalk. The movie comes out March 1st, and the trailer is below:



The official website is: http://jackthegiantslayer.warnerbros.com